It has been 5 and a half years since I last saw him. It has been almost two years, since we last talked. I miss him a lot. And I still think about him a lot. And I keep wondering what could have been. It is quite likely that my life would have turned out completely different, if I had gone out of the car with him that night. And sometimes, I truly regret not doing that. Not going with him.
I feel like such a poser. I really do. I have never felt that way about anyone but him, and I am not convinced that I ever will. But I am in a real, grown-up relationship. I am not supposed to feel this way. I am supposed to be wanting marriage and children and spending the rest of my life with this person. But that is not how I feel at all.

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